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  • Writer's pictureJulie Terry-Jenner

Do you need to be happy ALL the time to be ok?

Updated: Apr 18, 2023

How many times have you been told to cheer up, stop moping, or not to cry, regardless of what you might actually be experiencing? Lots? Too often?

People can sometimes mistake feeling sad for being depressed, which can cause them to worry if they don’t check to see if they have a real reason for feeling sad. Feeling sad is just one part of being human, just one of our emotions, and it is ok to feel sad at times.

For example, if someone you love has died, you’ve lost or broken a cherished possession, or something you have been looking forward to has been cancelled. There are many reasons to feel sad and often a healthy option is to allow the feeling and to work through it naturally. You may have people who care about you trying to distract you or cheer you up. Their motivation might be good, but that does not mean you have to go along with what they think is right. It could be that they are worried about you and sometimes they will feel helpless and want to do something to help. You might just need to know they are there if needed, and it is ok to tell people this. It is not your responsibility to make sure they are fine, especially when you are dealing with your own ‘stuff’.

Tears can be very cleansing and allow us to let go of some of our sad thoughts and feelings. In this, you are showing respect to yourself and to the situation that is making you feel sad. It is not up to others to decide how long you should be sad, or how you should deal with it. You need to do what feels right for you. Emotions can feel overwhelming and lead us to feel that we are not in control of things. The important thing to remember is, each emotion will pass! You will not feel this way forever and they are a natural part of being human. You are not a robot, you cannot just switch off what you feel, and you do not need permission to feel it. Whether you are sad, angry, happy, or scared, that is what you feel and there will be a reason for it.

If you feel that sadness is overtaking everything, or you cannot seem to pull yourself out of your low feelings, then it might be time to ask for help and seek support. This could be from friends, family, work colleagues, or a counsellor. You do not have to go through it alone. However, nobody feels happy ALL the time, everybody feels sad sometimes, and you do not need to feel ashamed for what you feel. You do not need to apologise for your true feelings, and you have the right to experience your emotions in your own way. We all want to be happy, but hoping to be happy all the time is a little too much to hope for. Enjoy being happy when you really are.

*** If you would like support or help to talk about anything in this blog, please get in touch. I know things can be confusing at times, and that's why I am here. I provide a non-judgmental safe space to ensure you get the best possible outcome from your sessions.

I offer both online and in-person treatments. My therapy room is based in Alton, Hampshire. I'm on the Hampshire/Surrey Boarder and just 15 minutes from Basingstoke and Farnham. Talk Helps is at the end of a direct line from London, Waterloo. ***

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