The spoon theory came to us thanks to Christine Miserandino, and you can read more about her on her page at butyoudontlooksick.com I...

People often only come into therapy when they hit a crisis situation, or life feels too hard, their relationships are under threat, their jobs are getting difficult, finances are causing worry, and so many other reasons. What about if you came to therapy before you REALLY needed it? Isn’t prevention better than cure? A couple of recent conversations got me thinking about this, and reflecting on my own life and how my life could have been so different if I had known about coun

Gaslighting is a term used for, and often subtle, forms of emotional and psychological abuse. Victims of this behaviour have often been controlled and manipulated for many years not knowing what is happening. You may find that you regularly doubt yourself, are often making excuses for your partner’s behaviour, apologising while not really knowing what you are sorry for and your self-esteem, self-worth, and view of yourself drop over a period of time. Gaslighters are often ch

When you think of hope, what comes to mind? Maybe that warm, happy feeling of something good coming your way. Possibly that anticipation of hard work finally pays off. It might even be a vague feeling that a situation or person is going to change for the better. Hope is often seen as something warm, sunny, and positive and this can distract us from the emptiness of blind, unfounded hope. This is the darker side of hope and which can lead you to wait longer than you should, t

There still seem to be so many myths about what counselling is, what good it could do, and who ‘should’ be considering it. I have heard many reasons from people who deny themselves the chance to feel better about themselves and their lives, based on preconceived ideas about what happens in the therapy room, or even about the kind of people that would give it a go. Most people who have an ongoing physical issue will recognise the value in going to see their GP, and getting so

It fills me with a certain amount of hope that counselling, and support with mental health in general, is finally being seen in a more positive light. More than once I have heard people make comments along the lines of “Isn’t counselling just about chatting and having a moan?” and it makes me a little sad to hear it. That is like saying that cake is just flour, eggs, butter, and sugar. Technically this may be right, but the result is so much more than that. Of course, the pr

I have been asked many times why I chose to be a counsellor and if I find it hard listening to other people’s stories each day. My answer every time is that I love my work and feel very privileged that I am trusted with such precious information about people’s lives. For some years, I worked in a couple of roles within mental health and the work was incredibly rewarding. However, many of my clients felt they were not really listened to, that many of the professionals they wo

How many times have you been told to cheer up, stop moping, or not to cry, regardless of what you might actually be experiencing? Lots? Too often? People can sometimes mistake feeling sad for being depressed, which can cause them to worry if they don’t check to see if they have a real reason for feeling sad. Feeling sad is just one part of being human, just one of our emotions, and it is ok to feel sad at times. For example, if someone you love has died, you’ve lost or broke

When choosing a therapist, I often advise people to contact, and possibly meet, 2 or 3 different therapists before deciding who to work with. A crucial part of successful, healthy counselling is the relationship that develops between the client and the therapist, and you can only really get a feel of whether or not they are the right person for you by meeting them. By having an initial session, you are able to reflect on how you felt with the counsellor, if you felt safe beli