I have found a recurring difficulty that a lot of people struggle with is that they do not feel they are good enough. Whether this comes from childhood experiences, from people leading them to think that they get things wrong, or from a wide spectrum of reasons, it is common for people to feel that others are better, smarter, or always get it right. This can lead you to ignore your own wants and needs and to always put others first. You make sure those around you are happy, even when it means making yourself unhappy. I have seen this lead to anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, low confidence, and a belief that other people's feelings and wants matter most.
Learning to put yourself first and get your own needs met can be a difficult journey. Words like selfish or thoughtless or uncaring can perpetuate these feelings and cause you to feel you are not allowed to have your needs met.
By taking the time, and seeking support, in looking at things differently, you may start to see how often you end up feeling as though you do not matter. You DO matter! And your needs ARE important!
You may not always get things "right" the first time, or you may think that someone else could do it better. If you have done the best you can, and you are happy with what you achieve or set out to do, then good enough is GOOD ENOUGH. Don't let others dictate how you feel about yourself. If you can feel happy in yourself, the words or actions of others will hurt you less.
Be happy to be good enough.
*** If you would like support or help to talk about anything in this blog, please get in touch. I know things can be confusing at times, and that's why I am here. I provide a non-judgmental safe space to ensure you get the best possible outcome from your sessions. I offer both online and in-person treatments. My therapy room is based in Alton, Hampshire. I'm on the Hampshire/Surrey Boarder and just 15 minutes from Basingstoke and Farnham. Talk Helps is at the end of a direct line from London, Waterloo - and I would love to welcome you. ***