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  • mandimartin7

Is your comfort zone holding you back?

How many times has fear or uncertainty held you back from something you want or need to do?

We create our comfort zones for many different reasons. Maybe you tried something in the past and it did not go the way you wanted or needed. Maybe you gave something a go but something went wrong and you feel like you failed. Maybe others have told you that you can’t do it – whatever it is. Whatever the reason, there is only so much growth that can be done without pushing your limits now and then.

I have just had a weekend which really reminded me of all of this. As some of you know, I’m a biker when time allows, and my road to getting out and about on two wheels has been tough at times. This weekend, I went on my longest ride yetfirst and headed to Wales for a long weekend with a friend. The weekend was epic for so many reasons, and my comfort zone was challenged on so many levels. There were all kinds of little firsts for me, all of which added to my confidence and self-belief. The firsts included riding over 200 miles, a lot of which was done in heavy rain, which ended in having to ride across wet grass to get our bikes to the small concrete parking area. I rode across cattle grids, through scary hairpin bends to go across a mountain pass, and along roads that were high enough, with sheer drops, which reminded me of my intense fear of falling. I managed to drop my bike twice, in stupid parking issues and was nearly taken out by a car on the motorway. On the motorway rides, the winds were hard enough in places that I worried we would be blown into the path of another vehicle.

Throughout all of this, I was very lucky to have a trusted friend who was able to reassure me, with no pressure at all. She did not pressure me to push through anything, validated my feelings, allowed me to choose whether or not I faced all the bits I was worried about, and not once did she make me feel small or stupid for worrying.

There were so many points that I could have easily backed down, taken the safer option, or even given up. In each moment where I needed to choose, I knew that regret would be harder to deal with than each little fear I felt and faced.

Many of the things I have spoken of probably don’t sound like a big deal to many people, but each individual part meant a lot to me, and the pile mounted up quickly over the weekend. I faced all kinds of little bits I hadn’t even considered, and I felt proud for not giving in to my fears.

This whole weekend reminded me how important it is to me that I keep growing, that I keep moving forward, and that I keep rising to challenges when opportunities arise.

One of the other important bits I was reminded of, is facing your challenges with the right people beside you. My friend showed me such a lovely level of acceptance, and understanding of my difficulties, and never judged me for the stuff that others have scoffed at in my past. She never pushed me, did not tell me I was being silly, or that there was nothing to worry about, and gave me the space to take things at my own speed. Her gentle encouragement helped me push through my fears, and trusting her completely allowed me to feel safer than I would have doing it on my own, or with the wrong people.

Being neurodiverse brings complications and stumbling blocks that can be hard to ignore.

My friend really understands this, and was very nurturing in how she was aware of my little signs when I was struggling, and calmly and quietly helped me in ways I did not expect, and that I very much appreciated.

So I encourage you to find your people, take those chances, and don’t let fear stop you from living and loving your life. If we only get this one life, make it yours. Face your fears, surround yourself with people who are there for the right reasons, and know that you are capable of more than you think you are.


I hope you'll consider stepping out of your comfort zone. As always, if you'd like some support or guidance, please remember that I provide a non-judgemental safe space for you.

I offer both online and in-person sessions and my therapy room is based in Alton, Hampshire. I'm based just 15 minutes from Basingstoke and Farnham and at the end of a direct train line from London Waterloo.

I'm always happy to talk.


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