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  • mandimartin7

Stress – is it all yours?




What does Stress Awareness Day mean to you?


Does it mean looking at all the things that stress you out? Or spending time thinking about how stressed you are? Or something else?


One of the processes many people forget to check is whether or not all that stress is their own, and this is a lesson I have learned the hard way more than once.


Are you worrying about things that are not in your control, and what your stress is about actually relates to your worry about how someone else will handle a situation? Or is some of that stress assumed because you want to do your very best, don’t want to let others down,

and are busy trying to fix things for others?


As an example, I have caused myself unnecessary stress many times over the years by worrying about things my children are dealing with, even once they became adult children

and started living their own lives. As a parent, I want the best for my children and have wanted to protect them from the harsh realities of life. This is such a mammoth, and often

pointless, worry as it is often the case that I can do nothing about the situations they are dealing with, and just need to trust them to work through their difficulties and to ask me when

they actually need my help.


We often put ourselves under stress trying to fix situations for others, to make their life easier or to show them we care. Not only does this cause ourselves more worry than we should carry, but also takes away the opportunity for that person to learn to deal with things themselves and to gain that proud, accomplished moment once they have done it.


Work situations can cause unneeded stress when we are trying to show how valuable we are, and be our most efficient selves. This can lead us to take on more than is ours, more than we can handle, and this can lead to unreal feelings of failure because it just isn’t possible to keep up with everything we are taking on. This can be especially difficult if we do not have clearly defined guidance about what is expected.


So, this Stress Awareness Day, I invite you to think about all the things that feed into your

stress, consider which ones do not belong to you, and work out who you can hand some

things over to or put down completely. Not everything we stress about has an outcome or

resolution, so why bother to keep carrying it? Lighten your load and just focus on what is

yours, and how to make it better.



****

My name is Julie and I'm a counsellor! I provide a non-judgemental safe space for you. I specialise in online therapy sessions as this is a more accessible option for many and offers more flexibility, plus your freedom to be in a place that is more comfortable for you.


Please get in touch if you'd like to learn more or arrange an initial consultation. As always, I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.


Remember... It's good to talk. Talk helps.

*****

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