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  • mandimartin7

A 10-year reflection


10 years between two photos
10 Year Difference



Another 10 years have passed, and it is time to renew my driving licence and add a new

photo. Well, what a revelation that was!


When looking at the two photos side by side, my first reaction was to laugh at the difference

between them. I first noticed all the physical changes, like my hair, the number of visible piercings, and my facial expressions. What I saw was a younger, more scared version of me,

which is so far from who I am now.


This led me to a moment of reflection. How many areas of my life have drastically

changed in that time, and how some of my physical changes happened because of those life

changes. I started to think about the losses I suffered in that time, life-changing

decisions I made, the changes in my circumstances, what I have learned and gained in that

time, and so much more.


It occurred to me that I don’t have reflective moments nearly often enough. Now I don’t mean sitting and feeling sad about losses, considering regrets, etc. What I mean is those moments when I sit, look back, and see how very far I have come in that time. Changes like my hair, piercings, and my many tattoos are because I was allowing myself to be me, and to stop creating “my look” to suit others. In short, I was finally being authentic.


To give a little context, and to highlight some of my most profound moments of the last 10

years, I would like to share some of what I was thinking about.


In the last 10 years, my daughter left home, I became a Nanny, I qualified as a counsellor

and set up my own private practice, I escaped from a highly toxic marriage, I passed my motorbike licence - twice, my son started uni, I discovered I am Autistic and have ADHD traits which helped me understand myself for the first time ever, I stopped being so scared of the world, I traced long lost family, I found my tribe and now have some amazing people in

my life. Whilst there are areas of my life that I would still like to change, I can honestly say I

am happier, stronger and far less likely to put up with other people’s shit behaviour than I

was. Obviously a lot more than this happened, and these are just some of the bigger events.


Do you ever give yourself a moment to look back, see how far you’ve come, and celebrate

all your wins? Whilst it is important to mourn our losses, and to recognise sacrifices we have made, to balance that out with any positive that has happened - life has a way of passing us by too

quickly – as highlighted by my photos – and we need to be paying attention to it.


I would love to hear about your reflections, changes, and what you are going to celebrate.

Have you got a picture or image you could share that represents your important moments?


Julie


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Don't forget that I provide a non-judgemental safe space for you.


I specialise in online sessions and offer face-to-face appointments. My therapy room is based in Alton, Hampshire. I'm based just 15 minutes from Basingstoke and Farnham and at the end of a direct train line from London Waterloo.


It's good to talk. Talk helps.


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